The Emo Stuff category contains all sorts of ramblings about why I don’t like emos. I’ll usually put stuff in here if there’s no other place for it. Most of the emo scene news will go in here too.
Emo Olympics
Today heralds the start of the first ever Emo Olympic Games were depressed and malnourished teenagers will take part in a series of events over a week.
Situated in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, The Games have attracted much outroar from the media due to the brutal nature of many of the events. However despite calls for The Games to [...]
Definitive Proof That All Emo Tattoos Suck And That You’re Retarded For Even Thinking About Getting One.
As an Emo why in God’s name would you ever want to get a tattoo? To express your individuality? To feel the surging pain of the needles piercing your limbs? Or to just make your body look as unappealing as possible?
In an attempt to find an answer to this question I trawled the internet in [...]
How To Get Your Kid Out Of Being Emo
I’ve been receiving many emails recently from concerned emo parents asking how they can reclaim their child from the emo cult. There isn’t one specific method that works every time but there are a few steps that you can take to improve your chances of a deconversion.
Ground the child and deny them access to money [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | No Comments »>Emo Boys Kill Badgers For Blood In Real Life
It has been revealed that people in the Emo community are convincing susceptible young emo boys to stone badgers to death in order to be accepted into the group. This came to light after 300 badgers were found lying stacked in a heap beside a row of empty vodka bottles by an ice cream truck [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | No Comments »>Dwayne From GTA4 Is An Annoying, Pointless Emo Cutter
I’ve been playing Grand Theft Auto 4 for the XBOX 360 for the last few months and one of my biggest regrets was killing Playboy X instead of Dwayne. Why? Well Dwayne is the epitomy of an Emo. Sure Playboy X was an annoying as hell but he was nowhere near as bad as Dwayne. [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | No Comments »>Emo Lyrics and Songs Are Totally Pointless
Those Emos and their songs with crazy lyrics, why do we need them? I don't understand why bands link My Chemical Romance or AFI like to include very questionable lyrics in their songs. They already get enough media attention; why do they put stuff like, "cut my wrists and black my eyes" in their lyrics? [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | 12 Comments »>Why Emo Art and Drawings Are A Joke. Clue : None of You Can Draw.
I really do not understand why the Emos insist upon trying to do art. It is not like any of them have ever bothered to really take any lessons or classes. Nobody is really interested in the dark art that they try to create, and honestly, it is really distracting because it is [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | 1 Comment »>Emo Baby Names
If you’re reading this as an emo thinking about having a child, stop right now! We need less of this crap and you most certainly don’t need a child until you’ve sorted your own problems out. If you want to have something to careful, why not borrow a raccoon from the countryside, wrap it up [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | 29 Comments »>Joy Division Are Probably the Worst Band Ever.
Let’s get this straight, Ian Curtis did not die for my sins. He was a skinny, pale, tory emo who couldn’t sing a goddamn note. His band, Joy Division (and their later incarnation New Order) sucked ass. Here’s why….
The band only recorded two albums, both of which were extremely dull. The aptly named [...]
Emo Forums Installed
Hi,
In order to stop so many people from arguing on the comments section of each post I’ve setup some new forums which should be used to settle any of the petty squabbles started on this blog.
You can visit them here.
Thanks,
E
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “Emo Forums Installed”, url: “http://www.emoboyfriend.com/blog/emo-forums-installed.html” });
Paris Hilton. Lollerskates.
Oh God and I thought Emo boys were shallow slags! My God I nearly wet myself earlier when I saw Hilton crying her eyes out, begging to be released from jail. If truth be told it would be better for society if she never sees the light of day again. How the hell did [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | 4 Comments »>Sorry For The Lack of Updates - Dan and I Are Thinking of Splitting Up
I thought splitting up with Dan would have been easy, but as per usual I was wrong. A few weeks ago I tried to end it with him and he disappeared for days. He went on a three day bender and ended up in a police cell for urinating on the beach in broad daylight. [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | 7 Comments »>I Got Called An Emo Slut Again, Ha
Ha, I was out shopping yesterday and a group of girls approached me shouting all sorts of abuse. The ugliest one called me an “Emo Slut-Bag”. What the hell like? Firstly I don’t dress like an emo, I might be a bit pale on it but I’m certainly not emo. They must know Dan, or [...]
Posted in Emo Stuff | 2 Comments »>
